While some magazines might attempt to lure you into their world with a cover featuring nothing more than a single vapid tart from some rubbish soap opera, Bizarre is a different animal. For a start, we wouldn’t dare insult you by assuming you give two hoots about someone who thinks being interesting means talking about her titjob, that funny thing that happened at stage school that time, and how that really, really nasty character in the programme isn’t actually really nasty, he’s lovely and in real life he’s got – gasp – a wife!
And also, just a single person? It can’t have escaped your attention that this month we’ve brought you two of the sexiest women on the planet – Aria Giovanni and Masuimi Max – and not only that, but we’ve put them together. And we don’t mean together in the ‘standing next to each other’ sense. We mean together in the lipstick-smearing, mutual-washing, ‘Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?’ sense of the word. What a relief someone was there to take photos.
“The first thing I did was stick my face between her boobs,” Masuimi tells us. “I just had to. She said all her friends do that so I didn’t feel so bad. They were really nice and soft and heavy and firm. Then we did some sexy stuff in the shower where we were naked from head to toe and washing each other. Aria’s one of my favourite models, so it was really, really, really cool. She’s so sexy, she’s one of the sexiest models out there. She’s womanly. I love her curves. I really like curvy women. Smearing red lipstick all over her was a lot of fun.”
But before the women get too excited… Masuimi is married. Last July, in the Hollywood Hills, at their house, Masuimi and her boyfriend Mörat became Mr and Mrs. She might have forgotten to pick up the special rings in time for the ceremony, but she just about managed to find a dress.
“I had a very beautiful red wedding dress. I found it two hours before we got married. I was searching all over town for a red wedding dress. It’s really, really pretty. I found it buried beneath a bunch of white and lavender dresses. It’s very big and full. I felt like Cinderella.”
“There were a lot of bands at our wedding… apparently,” Masuimi says, adding “apparently” because she only had eyes for one person. “The Damned were there, and Stone Sour, but I don’t remember them at all. I don’t remember anyone other than Mörat. I keep running into people and Mörat’s like, ‘They were at our wedding,’ and I’m like, ‘Really?’”
During their honeymoon, Masuimi got her latest tattoo: the suits from a pack of cards on each finger of the left hand so that the heart lines up on the ring finger. Her new husband got the same. And she’s planning on getting another tattoo – a koi carp that is turning into a dragon – sometime later in the year. “I’m going to get that on my leg. The body will be the fish and the head is going to be a dragon.”
And as well as getting married and getting more skin art, Masuimi also appeared in David Lynch’s film Inland Empire. Her character, Niko, appears wearing a platinum wig and holding a monkey. “I don’t really know how to explain what I’m doing in it, and I don’t really know what the movie’s about either.”
“They called me on a Wednesday and asked if I could be in a David Lynch film on Friday – that’s how much notice I had. I didn’t really know what was going on but I really wanted to be in a David Lynch movie, so I said OK. He said: ‘Do you know where I could get a monkey and a one-legged woman by Friday?’” In case you’re wondering, the monkey was real. And it was a bit of a diva if its encounter with Masuimi is anything to go by.
“The monkey flipped out and tried to rip my wig off. I think the problem was I gave him the wrong-coloured jellybeans. I was supposed to feed him the jellybeans to keep him calm but he didn’t like the ones I had. After he freaked out they said, ‘Bring in the next monkey!’ and I was like, ‘Oh God! There’s another one?!’” Thank God she got on better with Aria.
To find out more about Masuimi and Aria, visit their websites: www.Iamtrouble.com and www.Ariagiovanni.com
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