You know we love Tera Patrick here at Bizarre. We recently flew over to Los Angeles to photograph her for the November issue of the mag.

Her husband Evan was there too, and Chopper her little dog… so you can imagine my surprise when they both turned up on the DVD. Evan was f-cking her and Chopper, you'll be relieved to hear, was just hanging out in the background.

What's it like? It's the sort of film most likely to be on pay-per-view at a posh LA hotel. In fact, it was – our photographer and stylist were watching it before the shoot (for research purposes). Tera does a hardcore girl/girl scene with a big double-ended snakey dildo, Evan gets to have sex with all her pals. Chopper looks on. Good stuff.

Highlights: Well, you get a bonus disc – 'Return to Asian Love Palace' – which is a bit of a let-down after the main feature, but hey, a free extra's a free extra.

Overall: You would be forgiven for thinking the whole DVD features Tera, but it doesn't… it's a sort of Asian-themed thing with Tera popping up occasionally to f-ck people.

Not-made-up Tera Fact: Tera loves EastEnders and does a pretty good impression of Frank Butcher. We've seen it.