In your teens, did you feel unhappy in your body and different from the other kids?
Definitely - but the other kids made certain they let me know I was different before I realised it on my own. I'm not complaining; it was no fun at the time, but I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be like most of them.
Were you ostracised by those around you, and if so, did you use your writing as an escape?
I think I was too entertaining to ostracise. I was more fun to torture. If I used writing as an escape, I wasn't conscious of doing so; writing has always been something I just did because I had to, not a reaction to anything going on around me. Reading, now that's a good escape.
When were you first attracted to the dark side?
I always liked reading things that scared me, even though they kept me up at night. But I was something of a sissy when it came to visuals - I couldn't watch scary movies until I was in my teens.
The Bad Mouse story you recorded onto tape when you were three-and-a-half years old - what's it about?
The title says it all. It's about a very bad, almost Jeffrey Dahmer-like mouse. But he is redeemed by art (in his case, baking an multicoloured cake, which makes him so happy that he reforms and starts caring for the sick).
The central theme of your debut novel Lost Souls is goth subculture and the vampires (bloodsucking or otherwise) that populate it. Did you draw heavily on personal experience?
I guess the milieu of Lost Souls - goth, bands, New Orleans, North Carolina - drew on personal experience. I don't think much of the plot did. I've never been interested in writing autobiographical fiction. I'm not sure how my experience with goth (which I'd date, roughly, from 1986 to 1993) compares with other people's experiences. For me it was mainly a private thing I thought I'd made up myself. I've since heard it said that there are 'visigoths' (those who dominate the club scene) and 'ostragoths' (those who sit in their rooms listening to music and drinking), and I was definitely the latter. I actually have more goth friends now than I did when I was a goth myself.
If you've ever drunk your own or another person's blood, what possessed you to do so, and is it as euphoric an experience as it's supposed to be?
Sure, I've done it - I mean, who hasn't at least tasted their own blood? But I wouldn't say it was euphoric or even particularly sexual. Lost Souls aside, I was never really into the sexual vampire thing, though I can see how it could be very appealing. What possessed me to do so? I was a daft little goth who thought it was a cool thing to do. Is this a boring answer? God, I'm so damn normal now.
Fans can sometimes be overpossessive. What's the worst case of excessive fan adulation you've ever experienced?
I once got a letter from a couple of kids who said they'd kill themselves if they couldn't find out what happened to Nothing and Co. after the end of Lost Souls. I was tempted to write back and tell them to go ahead, but I decided to leave it and let Darwinism do its work.
Ever been stalked or had death threats?
No death threats. I've had stalkers aplenty and I'll just say the ones who love you are a hell of a lot scarier than the ones who hate you.
Most horror writers focus on good and evil and the perpetual battle between them. You seem more interested in the grey areas, the reasons behind the evil, and why people become branded monsters by society - why?
I'm just terribly bored by the whole good-versus-evil construct. I don't believe in it. I don't think that's how life works. Occasionally it can be done well - for example, in some of Stephen King's early work - but usually I find it predictable from page one. I always begin with the characters, and it's very rare for me to have a character who is identifiably 'good' or 'bad'. I suppose you could say Ghost in Lost Souls is 'good' and Andrew Compton in Exquisite Corpse is 'bad', but I see more in them than just that, and I believe readers do too.
Why do you focus so strongly on homoeroticism in your work?
I've pretty much given up trying to explain why I write about gay characters and sex. I think 'why' is meaningless when it comes to what turns you on.
Ever wish you were born with a dick?
Sure, all the time. But I kind of wish I'd never publicly discussed it, because of all the times I've been misquoted as saying I am 'a gay man trapped in a female body'. Yes, I feel male (and most of the people closest to me agree). Yes, I have a female body. But I don't feel 'trapped' in it. I do just fine with I've got.
How far into the dark side has your research taken you?
I guess the most 'extreme' research I've done has been to attend autopsies and embalmings, but these experiences didn't seem all that dark to me. It's just the human body. We all have that stuff in us. I have trouble understanding why some folks are so disgusted by it.
Have you ever experimented with ritual magic?
No, I'm not at all attracted to that. I'm not above a little hoodoo, but I've never met a Crowleyan I could stand. I'm sure there are decent ones, but all the ones I've known have been insufferable pricks.
You once revealed that following completion of your novel Drawing Blood you fell in love with Jeffrey Dahmer, and rediscovered a personal lust for human flesh that had (more or less) lain dormant since childhood. Explain what you meant by this lust.
I suppose I meant I can identify with the lust/viciousness/sheer curiosity that would compel someone to kill, dismember and eat another person. I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't recommend that anyone else do it, but it doesn't seem that monstrous or alien to me. I'd still like to taste human flesh, though. I doubt it would taste like anything special, but I'm curious about how it would feel. But I'm not willing to go as far as Dahmer did to do it!
How important are dreams to you?
I like having them, and I have some pretty goofy ones (a few of which are catalogued on my website), but I don't take a lot of direct inspiration from them. I don't think it's generally a good idea to base fiction on your dreams.
Recall one of your worst nightmares.
The worst nightmare are those where something awful happens to a person you love. Other than that, one of the most vivid I had was about being hanged in a concentration camp. But it was interesting - I learned you don't die in real life when you die in a dream.
You've never been anything but open about your drug experimentation. So, naming the drugs, flash back to one of your worst drug experiences, and one of your most wonderful.
I've never had a bad psychedelic trip. I don't do psychedelics any more, but that's just because I got tired of them, not because anything terrible happened. I guess my worst experience was the time I did ketamine (Special K). I fell into a K-hole. I threw up and threw up, then spent quite a while lying on a cat pee-soaked beanbag, unable to move. That's one drug I'll never do again. My best experiences have been in Amsterdam, smoking all those different wonderful flavours of weed, then walking around the city all night by myself or with my husband. It's a magical place for me.
Do you have any phobias?
I have an irrational fear of the stealth bomber. Well, not entirely irrational, as it is sensible to be afraid of something designed to kill you. But that's not what bothers me. I just hate the shape of it, the wrong geometry. I don't know why.
What do you regard as truly horrific?
The possibility of losing personal freedom, which seems a very real possibility in the US today. I won't say freedom of speech is being eroded, but I'm certainly not willing to take it for granted.
What do you find 100 per cent bizarre?
It's been nine months, and I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that George W Bush is the President of the US. Also, certain parasites really fuck with my head. There is a tiny crustacean that crawls into the mouth of a certain fish, eats its tongue, then lives in the fish's mouth and functions as its tongue, helping it capture and grasp food.
Have you done anything you regret?
No. Nothing. All my actions have been perfect. Seriously, how can you know? Everything leads to so many other things that your whole life might be different if you went back and changed one small action. Like, I might wish I'd never written about stupid vampires, because I hate them now, but I can't wish I'd never written Lost Souls, because I still like the book. See? It doesn't make any sense
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